Testimony : Christiana Choe(최이슬)
“I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well”. –Psalm 139:14
Before the mission trip, I felt like I lacked in every aspect: spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially. I tried to find every possible way to get going, but exactly a week before the trip, I got fully funded. This mission trip was the most expensive mission trip that I’ve been on despite it being in the States. Because I got funded so suddenly, I knew it wasn’t just a coincidence.
And just like that, it was already D-Day. I remember when the plane was taking off, I looked down at the world that I didn’t want to leave and realized how small it was.
It depressed me how the cars became the size of ants and the people became invisible. If the world is this big, how can God listen to my prayers?
I prayed for two things before this mission trip. One was to genuinely love others and the other was to fear God more than I feared man. The first few days of the mission trip was just a lot of obeying and serving wherever needed. I was a bit disappointed that my expectations weren’t being met. But then, on one of our last days, we had a banquet where we invited adults and parents of the VBS kids to worship with us.
I was serving on the Taekwondo team and maybe it was because I joined without prior experience like the rest of the members, I felt extremely burdensome. Right up until the moment before we performed, I was practicing over and over.
When we started performing, something in my mind told me that it didn’t matter if I made a mistake; at least I tried my best to glorify God through this. And I realized that even though I was the black sheep of the team, God pulled me through with just one month of practice. I wasn’t quite sure why I had joined Taekwondo so shamelessly, but I realized God answering my prayer request.
During praise, I let go of my pride and worries, and when I looked to my side and saw my friend and sister in Christ, Jihyun, I felt pure joy and started tearing up. People who know me know that I hardly ever show tears. After the praise song ended, I hugged her and told her that I genuinely loved her, but she replied nonchalantly.
After praise, we had people who had prayer requests to raise their hands and people from the mission team would come and go pray for them. Every person that I prayed for, I would be sobbing because it was as if I felt their pain.
The very last person that I prayed for was standing behind everyone else. He was wearing sunglasses, a bandana, and tattoos all up his arms. He only wanted me to pray for his family, but as I was praying, I had a yearning to pray for him, too, so I did. Afterwards, the man told me that he wasn’t going to come because these spirits were trying to keep him away, but now he realized that “it was as if God sent an angel to lift him out of the fire” and asked for a bible.
He told me that people look down on him in his community because he handles corpses as his job and he felt really lonely. It was as if God had really broken my heart for what broke His.
I won’t ever truly be 100% ready for a mission trip, but despite my numerous imperfections, I know that God has a plan for me and will work through me as long as I let Him. Through this mission trip, God revealed to me that He actually does listen to my prayers.
On our flight back home, I looked outside again and saw the same landscape from before. Even though I may be just the size of a dust particle from above, God still hears me.